Sugar Words

Overdose of anything can be lethal.

I say this so often that I started believing that I know exactly when to stop. But as they say, we all have a blind spot. I had mine, and I noticed it when things went way out of hand.

From the very beginning, I have been the one who aims for perfection. The margins need to straight, alignment needs to be uniform, the color combination needs to bright but not jarring, and on and on. I always want to do a little bit more than I am supposed to do, but I hesitate to ask for help.

It took me a while to understand that there is no dishonor in asking for help. And 8 out of 10 times, people would be happy to help.

I realized how big the problem of persistently striving for perfection was only last year.

During one of the group assignments, I was working on my part, and that part was pretty huge, and it would have speeded up things if I had asked for help. But as you all would have anticipated – I didn’t ask for help.

But this was not new to me, and I did not think anything was wrong because I always would work a little more hours and get it ready right on time. So, in my head, everything was progressing correctly.

I noticed something was wrong when I made a mistake in my part of the assignment, and nobody else checked because I did that part. After submitting when we realized there was a mistake, I felt so guilty and thought it was my sole responsibility that this had happened.

So, I did the damage control, worked on the part again. When offered help, I denied it because I thought it was my responsibility to correct it. I denied myself the right to make a mistake. I could not stop thinking about how I could make such a terrible mistake.

When I shared the incident with a friend, she said – why are you feeling guilty? Everyone is supposed to check before the assignment is submitted. This was when the alarm went off, and I asked myself why was I feeling so guilty? It was one turbulent journey to go down that path.

Going down that road I realized two things:

Overdose of perfection blinds one from the fact that making mistakes is the most human thing.

Sometimes, it is okay to let others pour your glass. It is okay to ask for help.

I learned my lesson, but I am not saying that now it is super easy for me to ask for help and not beat myself up for my mistakes. But now, I am more mindful, and I am getting better at it every day.

So, it is okay to make mistakes, but it is not okay to deny yourself something intrinsic to your being.