Sugar Words

“I write this in a state of mind when I was unable to write anything.” 

I feel there comes a time when what you are really good at does not flow so easily. On most days, you have the stability to not let it worry you much, but when part of your livelihood depends on this skill is when it becomes a source of uneasiness. This is exactly why I want to talk about this unseen barrier to becoming better!

Now this seemingly unexplainable obstacle to be good at something you have and are supposed to be good at would not be visible to others, because it is how you perceive your work and your development of this particular skill that is facing the test and it is not that some dark force has taken away your ability to be exemplary at Xyz. To put it in simple words, you suddenly start to feel that you can become/do better at Xyz skill but you just aren’t able to go to the other side of the glass. 

Recently while reading the book “The Mountain is You” by Brianna Wiest (I highly recommend everyone to read this book), I was re-acquainted with the concept that we as humans are wired to resist change be it good or bad, which is to say that even when there is a chance for becoming better, our first reflex is to push it away simply because it is an unfamiliar zone. Whereas the other side of the story is that be it life or becoming better at anything requires you to continuously change and evolve.

So the question is how do we make peace with these two contrasting truths and try to achieve what is best for us without putting ourselves into much emotional turmoil? 

Now I first experimented with this in my own life. There always have been cycles to how frequently I write in a month, but lately, I started to feel that there was something missing. Like every other human, I did not pay much attention at first, but it kept coming back. This is when I tried to dissect this uneasy feeling of having the potential to do better but being unable to get find of the beginning of the thread. 

The first step is to become humble and accept that something that you and the world have known you to be good at, does not mean you cannot improve i.e you can always learn. This can be challenging because many times we associate our personalities with professional or creative strengths.

Hence it feels like you are challenging your worth, but remember that who you are as a person has nothing to do with how good you are at a skill, or you can take it in a way that you are relearning your worth, almost like leveling up.

Next, you sit with this discomfort, don’t try to distract yourself from it. If an existing strength/ skill you have mastered or even if some idea is making you super uncomfortable and challenging your very foundation, it is good news. It means that change is on the horizon. So soak all this discomfort, the best way to not let it overwhelm you is to write down and answer these questions:-

1. What makes me good at Xyz? 
2. Why does everyone think I am good at Xyz?
3. How is Xyz adding value to my and others’ lives?
4. What is that one consequence of being good at Xyz that I really like?
5. Had I not been good at Xyz how would it alter my life?

When you honestly answer these questions, you would be able to separate the skill/ strength from yourself and look at it more objectively. When you do this the threat of entering the unfamiliar zone reduces and you can navigate through smoothly to find answers for how can you become better!

Often times embracing discomfort is the only way to become more comfortable with the life you want to live or the person you want to become. To be able to water your growth, it is essential to endure the summer. 

Happy New Year to all of my readers! Wishing you all joy and peace.

Thank you so much for the support. I hope I have been able to add some value or positivity to your life through my writings. If I have, do share this blog with your friends & family and ask them to subscribe to Sugar Words!